i mean yeah, not to wade into the Discourse Mires, but yeah, davejadekat was always a joke on the whole "girl getting in between a yaoi ship" thing in the same way that a lot of late-homestuck is commentary on its own fanbase and their fanfic tropes. (taking a step further, jaderoute is largely about jade ripping and tearing herself out of her Metaphysical Torture Zone, highly recommend reading it, very good story. one of the best to ever do it.)

the reason why "the joke" works is because it shows the trope in a realistic way that it could actually happen. jadedavekat in the book failed 100% because dave and karkat are idiot losers that have no backbone and can barely be honest with themselves, let alone her. they're too busy pretending they don't have emotions that they outright ignore and trample on jade's. this is their burden.

jade is honestly reacting pretty normally to being in a long term will they/won't they dynamic with a guy that refuses to date or reject her. like, can you imagine. i'd blow myself up with 5000 bombs. she can do better. but combining that with jade's general desire to live the normal, picket fence life with a partner and two kids, she really just is Trapped In Hell.