That's really fair, and it sucks you've been feeling that way! Sometimes when I feel bad I remember that there were pre-Murderstuck Gamzee fans that had their entire worlds destroyed at basically the early-midpoint of Homestuck LOL. It's rough when there's so much time to build up a relationship to the beginning of a story, and then the plot has to happen and knock it all over. The comic (can feel like it) changes as the story progresses and things build, but that happens in life too. I definitely am not the same kind of fan or level of fan I was back in 2019 or before. I can't get it back, and it's okay, because a part of it was also being five years younger than I am now. I can build a new kind of relationship and figure out what I really want to get out of fandom and focus on those parts. Talking to other people that really love the new parts has helped a lot, and then just sitting back and biding my time through parts I'm not sure how I feel about. Find your people!

And also, not taking it too seriously! I initially struggled with parts of the Epilogues for a bit for similar reasons I REALLY used to have a hard time watching shows like Always Sunny or or jackass/black comedies because I kept overthinking it lol. There were parts that made me uncomfortable and it was hard kind of mentally letting loose and not inserting myself into it and stressing myself out. I really don't mean this as a dismissive way but just internalizing that it's not real and the version that I liked of it will always exist, if not more prominently than the parts that stressed me out haha. It's not real but also I AM real and can decide what parts I want to actually focus on and engage with.