it seems like you're putting a ton of pressure on yourself to stay in the fandom, which seems like it's a huge part of your problem. maybe take a break from homestuck and stop trying to convince yourself to like every aspect about it. you don't have to be in this fandom 24/7 or even at all if it's making you upset, and you can always come back if you miss it. it seems like you're burnt out. i notice a lot of resentful fans are very caught up in the fact that homestuck, a big part of their identity, did something that made them upset. in 2019 i took a yearish long break from the homestuck fandom because i was upset about the epilogues. when i came back, i was feeling refreshed and i didn't feel so hurt. i went clubbing and traveled and focused on studying and making friends who weren't into fandom. it was very very good for me. don't read the epilogues again. don't check in with beyond canon. don't keep arguing with people about how you have the right to be upset. just like, go have fun. homestuck isn't going to go away. it's not like homestuck is your girlfriend, you're not breaking up with homestuck. it's a comic. you've got to let go a little, otherwise you will not have a healthy relationship with the story. find hobbies outside of fandom. come back when you miss it.