The "logic [your] brain can't overcome" which will "unlock the joy" for you, Dandy, is called an epiphany. A magical bolt of realisation from the sky that involves no effort on your part. It's a foolish thing to expect! If you want to like something, you really have to WANT to like it: there has to be a compromise, a place where you're willing to meet the thing in the middle instead of always expecting IT to come to YOU. When people give their reasons for continuing to enjoy Homestuck and you take the time to respond to each one with "BUT i disagree for X, Y and Z reasons", you're making an active choice to reinforce your own pre-existing viewpoint rather than allowing yourself to have your horizons expanded. THAT'S what I'm saying.

Does that mean you HAVE to like the Epilogues, or anything else? Of course not! It just means that if you WANT to have your mind changed or your feelings turned around, you need to be open to it; and if you DON'T want that, you just need to realise that continuing to engage with this thread is nothing but a waste of your own and everybody else's time.