Your name is PIGEON SLEUTH. You are one of the best Pigeon Sleuths in the city. You need to leave your office. The door is locked.
PS: Take KEY. Shoot lock out with KEY.
No, that would disturb the pigeon!
PS: Climb out of window
No, that would disturb the pigeon!
PS: Phone for help
No, that would disturb the pigeon!
"This is StuckUnderHell, nor am I out of it." - Mephistopheles