OP there is no non-painful path for you. If there was a single easy explanation for the epilogues that would neatly explain away your discomforts you would have gotten it by now. People like the Epilogues because they can either tolerate the difficult points or because they genuinely enjoy them. No amount of circular conversation about plot holes and character consistency will solve this for you.

To repeat what has been said many many times already, you are caught in an unhealthy relationship with this work and its community. At some point you will have to cut your losses and accept pain- either the pain of the Epilogues, the pain of drifting from Homestuck for good, or the pain of only liking alternate takes on Homestuck. You can choose where you go, but you can’t stay here, and you are the only one capable of setting yourself free.

Sitting around and waiting for someone to hand you the key out of your mental birdcage is less than productive, it is time and energy that serves only to keep you in this state of unrest.

It seems to me you’re stuck in a really bad mental trap that is hurting you a lot, and I really hope you can recognize that before this topic swerves into another debate over fiddly semantics that don’t matter