Main thing that stood out for me was that Jade straight up sounds several years younger than the rest of the characters. "Did. You. Get. My. PWESENT!" I get that she's supposed to act less self-conciously "mature" than the other three, but perhaps they pushed that a bit too far.
A girl stands in her bedroom on her 26th birthday. As she waits for the mail-centipede to arrive, her fingers twiddle with her long grey beard. The beard twiddles back.
"TEAM MADRIGOG" on Ao3 and FFN