You are the building's SCATTY TYPIST, and boy are you hungry. You've been in the office for all of five minutes and you've worked up a wicked appetite. You reckon it's about time for your break.
What will you do?
> look behind clock for secret snack stash
Until next time....
> Contemplate inconvenient fan placement
Home? stuck
> Admire hunky calendar
You say you'd still rather wear the outfit. He's got nothing to say about that.
> Admire precariously placed typewriter
Please foward all messages to your mothers house
> look behind clock for secret snack stash
Of course! You bet there's something tasty hidden behind this clock, like one of those safe-behind-a-painting things. Except instead of a painting its a clock, and instead of a safe its a mini-fridge.
Shit! Your fingers slip.
Huh. It looks like there was a digital clock hiding behind the analogue one. It appears to be counting down.
> Contemplate inconvenient fan placement
You contemplate it agnostically. People put their fans in high places all the time! For air circulation and stuff. Ever heard of a ceiling fan, wiseguy? IT'S NORMAL!!!
Besides, do you SEE any room on your desk? No, you didn't think so.
> Admire hunky calendar
You don't have to ask you twice. Ohhh yeah, twelve months of hunky goodness. It's these kind of cheeky office knick-knacks that stop you from climbing to the top floor and throwing yourself out of a window.
While nobody's watching, you decide to skirt calendar etiquette by taking a peek at the next month ahead of schedule...
Oh god..!
This isn't a cheeky office gag at all! This is smut!!
> Admire precariously placed typewriter
Admire this, contemplate that. How about you actually DO something? You begin brak'ing away at your type writer. Wait, aren't you supposed to be on break?
> Quickly investigate the file cabinets and get outta there since the counting down clock might be a bomb
> Type the words "You wait to dry off before any other proceedings." into your type writer.
You say you'd still rather wear the outfit. He's got nothing to say about that.
> Type the words "You wait to dry off before any other proceedings." into your type writer.
God damn it, you hate these choose-you-own-adventure games!
>ST: Check filing cabinets for your snack cache.
-Sincerely, Sharkalien
> "Enter one of the two doors"
This clearly isn't getting you anywhere. These text-based adventures can be very particular.
You try to be a little more specific, using syntax the game understands. The vivid descriptions being laid out before you spark your IMAGINATION.
You imagine yourself as... Something gothic and romantic, with the initials "ST" (that's your job, folks!).
> ST: Check filing cabinets for your snack cache.
What filing cabinet?
>ST: Retrieve gun from under your dress.
-Sincerely, Sharkalien
> SOGGY TRAVELLER : Examine own necklace
You say you'd still rather wear the outfit. He's got nothing to say about that.
>Declare yourself the "Sullen Temptress"
>Examine metal plaque
> Examine own necklace
You examine ye necklace. It was a gift. The one lasting memory of your dear, dead love! Taken too soon, by consumption no less! You keep it close to your heart, where it draws the eye to your ample bosom. Hey, he would have wanted you to move on.
> Retrieve gun from under your dress.
You hike your skirt up and start rustling about to see if you keep anything useful up here.
You obtain the DIRK.
> Declare yourself the "Sullen Temptress"
Now that's a fitting name! It's gothic, it's romantic, it's a little self-deprecating. It's so you! As if on cue, lightning flashes from the window behind you.
> Examine metal plaque
You still can't make it out.
> Look under rug
> Turn on lamp
> Examine the shelf of candles
> Open the western door
Clearly, it reads: "SALAD MONSTER"
>Go north.
-Sincerely, Sharkalien
> ST: Scratch your own message into the plaque.
> Look under rug
You do just that.
It looks like there was a business card underneath. You think you'll hold onto that for now...
> Open up that drawer on that cabinet
Dang, locked. You'll have to come back later.
> Turn on lamp
Done. Its not much, but the place feels homier already!
> ST: Scratch your own message into the plaque.
You scratch and then you sniff. It smells like pewter and rust.
> Go north.
You head north until you reach the altar. There's a chalice.