A not-quite-as-young Dave Strider is standing in a Costo food court, waiting patiently for his hot dog. As he already has a name, there shall be no need to give him a new one. The night is still young, and there are undoubtedly all sorts of sick opportunities for a man like Dave to spend his time engaging in.
What will you do?
>First, exist. Second, politely greet Dave Strider.
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> First, exist next to that other user. Second, ask for Dave's autograph.
>First, exist. Second, politely greet Dave Strider.
You can't be someone that doesn't exist! Instead, you decide to be the food court employee, who politely greets Dave and tells him that his hot dog is almost ready if he would just wait a little longer.
Go inside the trapdoor.
>Go inside the trapdoor.
That would be a very stupid thing to do! Instead, you finish preparing Dave's hotdog, and get ready to serve it to him.
>Dave: Investigate the commotion.
> Pick up phone, Dave!
You say you'd still rather wear the outfit. He's got nothing to say about that.
Dave: Check the freezer for more hot dogs.
You gotta be fuckin' kidding. That was the only one left in the store?
Dave: Pick up the phone!
A voice immediately responds as soon as you pick up.
[PHONELOG]
VOICE: *heavy breathing*
DAVE: oh boy i can already tell this is going to be good
VOICE: I WANT TO PLAY A GAME, DAVE.
DAVE: please say its mario kart and hang up
VOICE: HAHA. NO.
VOICE: I WANT TO PLAY A GAME, DAVE.
VOICE: FOR TOO LONG YOU HAVE SPENT YOUR TIME AS A C*NT FLOGGING INTERNET COMMUNITIES WITH YOUR STALE MEMES AND BAD JOKES.
DAVE: sounds accurate
VOICE: TODAY IS THE DAY YOU WILL BE PUNISHED HELLO DAVE BY BEING TRAPPED IN A HORRIBLE INESCAPABLE DILEMMNA
VOICE: LETS PLAY A GAME.
VOICE: WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS SIMPLE BUT HIGHLIGHTS WHAT AN INSUFFERABLE PRICK YOU ARE DAVE.
VOICE: I REQUEST THAT YOU DRAW AND PROVIDE ME WITH SOME SOFTCORE PORNAGRAPHIC MATERIAL OF THE GIRL KNOWN AS ELLSEE RAINES.
VOICE: IN COMIC FORM BY THE WAY. NOT ALL TEXT. IT NEEDS SOME EFFORT PUT INTO IT.
DAVE: who the fuck is that some kinda bollywood celebrity or some shit
VOICE: NO. OH GOD NO.
VOICE: SHE IS A TROLL. FROM THE COMIC 'VAST ERROR'.
VOICE: YOU HAVE 48 HOURS TO PROVIDE ME WITH THIS TASTEFUL YET SENSUAL MATERIAL. OF THE HOT TROLL WITH THE EXPOSED MIDRIFF. OR ELSE.
VOICE: IF YOU FAIL. YOU WILL BE TRAPPED IN THIS COSTCO WHOLESALE FOREVER.
VOICE: HAHAHAHAHAHA.
DAVE: who is this anyway
VOICE: THE CHIEF LIEUTENANT OF THE HOMESTUCK GAMERGATE MILITARY.
VOICE: YOUR TIME STARTS NOW. TICK TOCK.
[PHONELOG]
The voice on the other end hangs up.