Look at this specky bastard smoking a feg like he's hard. Little does he know he's about to get jumped the fuck by imps and goblins, and they're not gonna go easy on him just because its his birthday. Nah, they're mental, they don't give a fuck. Oh, and he's 16.
What's this wee lad's name?
> BEASTSTENCH SHITEPRIMEMINISTER
> Take a gander at ye surroundins
> Zooted Pooplord
Aye you're a geg.
> Teague O'Toole
Close enough.
> Take a gander at ye surroundins
Your name is TEAGUE, though you've also been known to go by SIOFRA because you're a FRUIT. You like spending all day in your room don't you, specky? You have a variety of SPECKY BASTARD INTERESTS, such as playing VIDEO GAMES FOR WEANS, reading EDGY WEBCOMICS, and WRITING MY LITTLE PONY FANFICTION. You also fancy yourself a bit of a CASANOVA, and wish you were GOTH.
What will you do?
>Teague: retrieve arms from floor
This is some straight up delirious biznasty, Dawg!!
> Teague: Hang up poster with knife.
-Sincerely, Sharkalien