A young man stands in his RV. It just so happens that today, the 6th of August, is this young man’s birthday. Though it was 24 years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!
What will the name of this young man be?
JESSEQUEST: https://mspfa.com/?s=64337&p=1
> SLIM SHADY
You say you'd still rather wear the outfit. He's got nothing to say about that.
> JILL BIG BALLS
https://mspfa.com/?s=55393&p=1
>finger
Seriously!? Does he look like a kid named finger to you?
JESSEQUEST: https://mspfa.com/?s=64337&p=1
> accept the reality that you look like a kid named finger. (please)
>jesse pinkman
Your name is JESSE PINKMAN, but your friends call you CAP’N COOK. You are currently living in your RV. The reason why is a long story, but let’s just say it starts with your PARENTS being a bunch of GREEDY KLEPTOMANIACS.
That aside, you have a number of INTERESTS. You love VIDEO GAMES, SONIC in particular being your favorite. You listen to HIP-HOP MUSIC from LEGENDARY ARTISTS like SLIM SHADY. You’re also an AMATEUR METH COOK, though you’ve been getting better recently thanks to your BELLIGERENT DICKHEAD of a partner.
What will you do?
JESSEQUEST: https://mspfa.com/?s=64337&p=1
> call your partner
Oh HELL NO. Your WALTERPHONE has been quiet recently, which is for the best considering encounters with him tend to get. . .messy.
Besides, considering where you’re parked. . .
He’ll be calling you any minute now.
SIDENOTE:
hi everyone thanks so much for clicking on JESSEQUEST and leaving suggestions! i just want to make sure im doing this right since this is the first time i've done anything with forums. im not sure how any of this becomes readable the longer it goes so i also have an mspfa mirror that will become more helpful/probably mandatory when we get into dialogue: https://mspfa.com/?s=64337&p=1
okay that's all thanks everypony enjoy jesse
JESSEQUEST: https://mspfa.com/?s=64337&p=1
> check out your sick ass posters
beep boop 🤖🚀
>check out your sick ass posters
This is your Slim Shady poster. Probably the best ever to do it. Nobody else comes close, except maybe Eminem. You used to to blast the likes of "I'm Slim Shady", "Habits", and "Fuel" while cooking, but of course MR. WHITE immediately shut it down. "Drivel," he called it. You had never been so pissed off in your life.
A couple years ago you had this poster made of your brother, Jake. He exists in the world and is Jake, so you keep this poster to remind you of that fact.
This is an ad for some new game, Sburb? Usually, if Sonic ain't there you ain't buyin', but one of your best friends has been badgering you about it for ages now, saying once you play it you'll finally see what he sees. So, what the hell. You'll give it a try this afternoon before your next cook.
JESSEQUEST: https://mspfa.com/?s=64337&p=1
>Test product quality
Oh HELL YEAH! Mr. White won't notice if a teenth goes missing.
JESSEQUEST: https://mspfa.com/?s=64337&p=1
> Trip Absolute Balls
You say you'd still rather wear the outfit. He's got nothing to say about that.
>Sing like a bird and shit in the supply
That's it, I'm gonna do what I should have done a long time ago.
I'm going to beat him to death with this hammer.
READ BLOODSTUCK https://archiveofourown.org/works/66056185/chapters/170221711
>Trip Absolute Balls
When you're on that Mario Shit, you feel unstoppable.
JESSEQUEST: https://mspfa.com/?s=64337&p=1
>sing like a bird and shit in the supply
For some reason, this feels like a really good idea. A little Albuquerque sunroof never hurt anyone, and maybe Mr. White will finally learn to put some damn respect on Slim's name.
==>
But before you can do that, your BADGERPHONE rings.
>Jesse: Pick up
Dialogue at https://mspfa.com/?s=64337&p=14
JESSEQUEST: https://mspfa.com/?s=64337&p=1
> Resignedly do not shit in the meth
You say you'd still rather wear the outfit. He's got nothing to say about that.