I got into Homestuck when I was in college, back in 2019. Read the whole thing in a couple weeks and I was entranced. I’m pretty sure like 80% of the conversations I had with my college professors at the time was about the literary intricacies of Homestuck. When the Epilogues came out, I was even more obsessed. It got me thinking about metanarratives and the nature of canon, it got me thinking about important trans representation, new modes of storytelling, and even helped with some personal revelations regarding my own plurality. At this point, I was so engaged with Homestuck, I wanted to create something inspired by it.
Making fantrolls is probably a natural process for a lot of Homestuck fans, and that’s how it started for me. Just some fan trolls. And then eventually, some ideas. About denizens, about the purpose and nature of telling stories, about the influence creators have on their characters and more importantly, vice-versa. This all led to a little fanventure called Of Gods and Monsters.
I am not an illustrator. I’ve tried, some people even say I have some skill, but the necessary commitment and practice? Well, at least let’s say I haven’t yet found it. Writing though? Well... Truth be told, that was also difficult for me. I think of myself as a Writer. I have a degree in Creative Writing and Literature. And yet, actually making complete stories... It's difficult for me. For a number of reasons. I suffer from a disability called POTS, and a scary little mental disorder called Bipolar-II. Not to get too sadstuck here, but basically it makes me want to die more often than not. Not a very conducive headspace to creating. And yet, Homestuck did something. It made me want to explore my identity, my illnesses, on the page. It became part of the story I was telling, in some effective ways and others less so, but still. About 130 pages and 30+ favorites, for a year's worth of storytelling before the weight of it all became too much. I know it may seem silly to be proud of it, but I am. I at least tried.
And I wanted to try again. This time, a collaboration. I asked someone who I genuinely consider to be family to do the art and co-write the story. She refused “co-creator” status, but honestly I felt it would have been fitting. And thus, a new and improved Of Gods and Monsters started to take shape. A story with more visual elements this time, my skills as a writer having been refined through the years and with a second set of eyes on the whole thing. I was really looking forward to it.
And then, the dark side of the Homestuck Fandom came to bite. Stalking, transphobia, harassment. It got to be too much, and understandably, as the one who was not the target of all this, I was left to do the project on my own. But this time it felt... A lot worse. It wasn’t just the decision of my partner to leave, she had been pushed out, and every time I thought about the project, a pit of anger and dread opened up deep inside me.
Yet, I pushed on. For just a little while. I tried to adapt our script to just prose, and tried to do the project on my own. But reality came hitting back hard. I haven’t exactly had the most stable housing or finances this past couple years, but a couple weeks ago it got really bad, my mental health issues flared up, and I found myself in the psych ward. This was a bit of a wake up call. I need to take time to take care of myself, and for now, I think that means putting this project behind.
Anyway, I hope this didn’t come across as some whole big sob story. I just wanted to explain the history behind the project and what it means to me. I think the least I can do is share the script for ACT 1 SIDE A seeing as it’s mostly finished, and lay out a bit of an outline for the rest of the story that was planned. Maybe it’ll help with a bit of closure on all this.
So, without further ado... the outline for
