> look behind clock for secret snack stash

Of course! You bet there's something tasty hidden behind this clock, like one of those safe-behind-a-painting things. Except instead of a painting its a clock, and instead of a safe its a mini-fridge.

Shit! Your fingers slip.

Huh. It looks like there was a digital clock hiding behind the analogue one. It appears to be counting down.

> Contemplate inconvenient fan placement

You contemplate it agnostically. People put their fans in high places all the time! For air circulation and stuff. Ever heard of a ceiling fan, wiseguy? IT'S NORMAL!!!

Besides, do you SEE any room on your desk? No, you didn't think so.

> Admire hunky calendar

You don't have to ask you twice. Ohhh yeah, twelve months of hunky goodness. It's these kind of cheeky office knick-knacks that stop you from climbing to the top floor and throwing yourself out of a window.

While nobody's watching, you decide to skirt calendar etiquette by taking a peek at the next month ahead of schedule...

Oh god..!

This isn't a cheeky office gag at all! This is smut!!

> Admire precariously placed typewriter

Admire this, contemplate that. How about you actually DO something? You begin brak'ing away at your type writer. Wait, aren't you supposed to be on break?