> What the hell is a phtislaboratory?

HERE'S A HINT, BOZO.

Polite answer: a portmanteau between PHITISIS and LABORATORY. Come to think of it, that's not a portmanteau at all, that's just two words smushed together. MOVING ON.

>start a TORRID LESBIAN AFFAIR with the new hire

Oh geez. Oh man. The NEW HIRE is burning up just thinking about it. WHAT, ME? WITH HER?

The ANALYST does not seem to mind or even notice this SAPPHIC SUBPLOT.

> NEW HIRE: Remove training weights from cargo pockets. Unleash full potential.

DETACHABLE POCKETS. Who thinks of this stuff, anyways?

The NEW HIRE loses 0.0001% WEIGHT. (The pockets were empty.)

She is no longer OVER-ENCUMBERED.

> NEXT!!

Now it's time to slide in and- oop she moved ok abort abort