Dave: Check the freezer for more hot dogs.

You gotta be fuckin' kidding. That was the only one left in the store?

Dave: Pick up the phone!

A voice immediately responds as soon as you pick up.

[PHONELOG]

VOICE: *heavy breathing*

DAVE: oh boy i can already tell this is going to be good

VOICE: I WANT TO PLAY A GAME, DAVE.

DAVE: please say its mario kart and hang up

VOICE: HAHA. NO.

VOICE: I WANT TO PLAY A GAME, DAVE.

VOICE: FOR TOO LONG YOU HAVE SPENT YOUR TIME AS A C*NT FLOGGING INTERNET COMMUNITIES WITH YOUR STALE MEMES AND BAD JOKES.

DAVE: sounds accurate

VOICE: TODAY IS THE DAY YOU WILL BE PUNISHED HELLO DAVE BY BEING TRAPPED IN A HORRIBLE INESCAPABLE DILEMMNA

VOICE: LETS PLAY A GAME.

VOICE: WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS SIMPLE BUT HIGHLIGHTS WHAT AN INSUFFERABLE PRICK YOU ARE DAVE.

VOICE: I REQUEST THAT YOU DRAW AND PROVIDE ME WITH SOME SOFTCORE PORNAGRAPHIC MATERIAL OF THE GIRL KNOWN AS ELLSEE RAINES.

VOICE: IN COMIC FORM BY THE WAY. NOT ALL TEXT. IT NEEDS SOME EFFORT PUT INTO IT.

DAVE: who the fuck is that some kinda bollywood celebrity or some shit

VOICE: NO. OH GOD NO.

VOICE: SHE IS A TROLL. FROM THE COMIC 'VAST ERROR'.

VOICE: YOU HAVE 48 HOURS TO PROVIDE ME WITH THIS TASTEFUL YET SENSUAL MATERIAL. OF THE HOT TROLL WITH THE EXPOSED MIDRIFF. OR ELSE.

VOICE: IF YOU FAIL. YOU WILL BE TRAPPED IN THIS COSTCO WHOLESALE FOREVER.

VOICE: HAHAHAHAHAHA.

DAVE: who is this anyway

VOICE: THE CHIEF LIEUTENANT OF THE HOMESTUCK GAMERGATE MILITARY.

VOICE: YOUR TIME STARTS NOW. TICK TOCK.

[PHONELOG]

The voice on the other end hangs up.