Being a Beforan troll might be more fun - you'd still be a badass among badasses, but not trapped on living hell of a planet with death and lifelong military service the only possible escapes.
A girl stands in her bedroom on her 26th birthday. As she waits for the mail-centipede to arrive, her fingers twiddle with her long grey beard. The beard twiddles back.
"TEAM MADRIGOG" on Ao3 and FFN