Swiss, I loathe you already. I mean, maaaaaaaaybe he might be able to overcome his cultural programming as the story goes on? Right now, he's doing too well out of Dirk's douchebro social system to want to be anything but a douchebro.
A girl stands in her bedroom on her 26th birthday. As she waits for the mail-centipede to arrive, her fingers twiddle with her long grey beard. The beard twiddles back.
"TEAM MADRIGOG" on Ao3 and FFN