This is just a list of Homestuck things that don't make sense to me, largely kept for my own use. Some of these don't have answers because they're ongoing mysteries, but I assume most do. If you do happen to know the answers to any of these, feel free to comment them.
What’s with the weird sun and red sky near Dave's place? (pg. 444)
How the FUCK did Jade get her hands on one of Doc Scratch's Cue Balls? Doc Scratch doesn’t even exist in B1! (pg. 805)
Why/How does the universe end if Snowman dies?
How long is Karkat’s lifespan? He's not on the hemospectrum at all, so...
How the hell does John know what trolls look like? (pg. 1714)
WTF is The Ultimate Riddle? (pgs. 1903)
Who the fuck are the blind prophets? (pg. 2031)
Why are there two sets of ruins on Alternia? The whole red and blue team thing was never real!
What’s the deal with the doomsday device? (pg. 2131)
Why did Snowman tell Terezi to exile Jack Noir? (pg. 2532)
Why did Dream John blink out of existence instead of just falling asleep when Vriska woke him? (pg. 2647)
How did Rose know how to contact Doc Scratch?
Who is the "master" that Aradia and Dave serve? (pg. 3489)
How did A2 Slick get the eyepatch and robot arm seen during the Doc Scratch segment? (pg. 3617)
What is Jack's Real Name? What is Scratch's Real Name? (pg. 3620)
Why do the ruins seen on pg. 2283 look so similar to the ones Darkleer was hiding in on pg. 3755?
DS says he told Rose to not look into the orb (pg. 3786), but both pg. 3632 and pg. 3638 contradict this. Was that not him?
How did Jade know about the yellow yard? (pg. 3871)
How does John know that? (pg. 3952)
What's with fedorafreak? (pgs. 3954–3956) Is he from Universe B1? If so, why are there 4 heroes and not 5?
What did Kanaya's Denizen ask her to do? (pg. 3979)
Why does that frog look like a rainbow drinker? (pg. 3980)
Doc Scratch left the blue arrows out for Hussie, so he knew he was coming. Why didn't he do anything?
Why is Doc Scratch a lifeless puppet when Hussie's around? (pg. 4077)
How the fuck did Gamzee get the Warhammer of Zillyhoo? He doesn't even use hammers, he uses clubs!!! (pgs. 3679+4085)
Why does Hussie need the characters to go through the yellow yard?
Why does Snowman have blue blood, while the other Dersites have red? (pg. 4110)
Shouldn't Jade still be able to teleport things with her space powers, even if she can't with her Bec powers? (pg. 4304)
What's going on on pgs. 4306 & 4307?
Origins of God Cat? How was he created?
Why does footage of B2 Rose black out? (pg. 4513)
How can Dirk be both his earth self and his dream self at the same time?
Where the hell is Calliope getting all of this info about sessions from? She only has the book from the B1 Session!
Why does Dirk get deja vu about uu? (pg. 4650)
Why does CD blow up the Black and White Kings? (pgs. 4703 & 4704)
(Possible Continuity Error?) How did Hussie pull out the wand after tossing the magnum? (pg. 4804/4807)
Why did A2 Gl'bgolyb keep killing all the trolls? (pg. 4849)
In conjunction with the previous, isn't Gl'bgolyb dead???????? Feferi says as such on pgs. 2850 & 2991. Are there two Gl'bgolybs????
Why is Jade blonde? (pg. 4855)
What powers did limebloods have? (pg. 4962)
Who "Commissioned" Bec Noir to destroy all B universes? LE? Is he afraid? (pg. 5072)
How does Calliope have Doc Scratch's gun/holster/wand? (pg. 5112)
How does Dirk know that Jake beat up Meenah? (pg. 5215) That wasn't actually him, no?
How did Mituna burn himself out?
Why did A1 Damara go all crazy?
How did John take The Ring Of Life with him from the dream bubble?
What's the deal with Caliborn's terminal? Why is it there?
Who moved Earth, and how did they move it? (pg. 5496)
When/Why did Caliborn get put in Derse jail? (pg. 5554)
Why is 154 a big deal for Derse? (pg. 5560)
What is going on on pgs. 5808/5809 with Lil Cal?
How/When did Caliborn get all buff?
Why did 3 of Caliborn's planets fall into the black hole? And why 6, 7, and 11 specifically? (pg. 6001)
Where did the Ring of Life come from? (pg. 6034)
Why did Kurloz take Vriska's pirate coat? (pg. 6066)
Why does Meenah think she's going to steal the Ring of Life from John? (pgs. 6067–6072) Like, The Condesce wears a lot of jewelry, but distinctly does not wear a ring, so, what gives? Is it just because she's a Thief of Life?
How can Vriska know what the narrator is doing? (pgs. 6076/6080)
How does Vriska even know that Hussie ('Orange Guy') is The Narrator?
How can Vriska control Hussie? Her powers don't work on humans, right? And Hussie is human, as he describes humans with "we" (pg. 6080)
Where/When is Hussie writing all of this from? Is it like authorspace or something? Maybe time flows narratively there??? ????????
Why did LE leave his gun/staff behind? (pg. 6116)
How did Caliborn turn his black gun/staff gold?
Why is The Cueball necessary to create a weapon capable of harming Lord English? (pg. 6322)
How do Meenah and Aranea know what the 'legit chain of events' consists of? (pg. 6553)
Why must Dave be the one to deal the final blow to Lord English? (pg. 6383) [Also as seen in The Epilogues, he's not the one to kill him! That's AltCalliope!]
How can Aranea know where Roxy was? (pg. 6662)
Why is the stage there? If it's not from Jade's or Calliope's memories, so it shouldn't be there, no? (pg. 6677/6717)
How the hell is Aranea using telekinesis on pgs. 6845 & 6901?????
Why is Lil Seb gesturing no on pg. 6898? John is correct, right?
Why do dead cherubs have black eyes while dead humans & trolls have white?
Why did John & Roxy make that choice? Seems kinda selfish no? Isn't this supposed to be a heroic thing they're doing? (pg. 7104)
How can the events of A6A5A5 take place before Caliborn gets buff when those events involve Dirk stealing his soul? How can Caliborn possibly survive that?
Can just anyone time travel? We see Vriska on pg. 7449 with Aradia's timetables, implying she used them, despite not being a time hero. We also see Gamzee do the same. What even is the point of being a time hero lol?
How the hell does Vriska know so much?!?!?!?!
How does Lord Jack exist in the post-retcon timeline without Gamzee to send Cal to Derse jail?
Why can't The Condesce mind control Vriska? (pg. 7520) Why is she resistant? She's from a lower blood caste.
Why doesn't AltCalliope have wings like the cherub on pg. 5962? (pg. 7601) She matured properly, no? (pg. 5973)
What is AltCalliope's promise to Echidna? (pg. 7616)
(Possible Continuity Error?) Dirk turning his back and Equius getting prototyped only happened pre-retcon. Vriska told him it would happen. (pgs. 7674 & 7449)
"KANAYA: There Were Twelve Of Us Back Then
ROXY: yeah WOW!!!
ROXY: i remember hearing about that from a friend
ROXY: who...
ROXY: never even existed from this frame of reference :(" ???????
Who tf is she talking about??? (pg. 7779)
Why are there two Nannasprites? (pg. 7806)
Why does Jasprosesprite^2 think that Nepeta has been "toyed with and disrespected by none other than the supreme puppeteer of unrepentant horseshit himself." and who is she talking about? (pg. 7816)
What the hell is up with Aranea in the post-retcon timeline. Where is she? Did she just cease to exist? Doubtful.
Why does Davepetasprite^2 suddenly want to fight Lord English? Why would he be "vulnerable" to them?
How did all the guardians know what was going to happen? (pg. 7919, as well as many other places)
What exactly is going on in [S] Terezi: Remem8er.?
How was PM able to resist/attack Jade? Why couldn't Jack do the same? (pg. 8087)
How did Dave break Dirk's unbreakable katana? It's explicitly unbreakable. (pg. 8087)
Why/How the fuck does Nannasprite have the ability to revive people???? (pg. 8089)
What happens to the versions of the alpha kids that fight Lord English?
How does John going back to defeat Lord English "authenticate" the Meat timeline? Shouldn't John's retconning just make The Meat Timeline cease to exist? His meddling means that Earth C was never created (because everyone dies), which is fine, because his version of time travel doesn't need to make stable loops, but I don't see how him doing that would authenticate anything in the Meat timeline?
Where are the commands coming from in the Epilogues?
When/How did The Mayor die? (Meat, pg. 2)
Can trolls not handle any sunlight at all, or is the Alternian sun particularly strong? Like, does Karkat avoid the Earth C sun because he'll literally burn up, or just because he’s Karkat and doesn't like outside?
Why does Dirk want Jane to win the election? He’s not xenophobic. How does it serve his interests? What are his interests anyways? He talks about Jane ruling for millions of years on Meat pg. 39. Why?
How did Dirk gain the ability to become a narrator? Hussie had a terminal of sorts [I think?], but Dirk can narrate while taking actions. And the ability to narrate clearly isn't inherent to those who have ascended to their Ultimate Selves. (See: Davebot/Rosebot)
Same as above but for AltCalliope.
How do Meenah and Calliope both simultaneously have the Ring of Life in the Meat timeline? Isn't it a juju, and thus unable to be duplicated through time shenanigans?
When/How did Dirk become Ultimate Dirk? At what point did he start influencing The Narrative? Why?
Same as above but for AltCalliope.
Why does Calliope tell John to free Gamzee in the Candy timeline?
Who is narrating in black in the Candy timeline?
Why the fuck does Jade say that Dave kissed Karkat? How? (Candy, pg. 9)
What did Terezi say to Candy John? (end of Candy, pg. 10)
Why/How the fuck is Gamzee in Dirk's studio? (Candy, pg. 13)
"When you think so little of yourself as a moral character, any act of self-termination will result in a death that is Just." ???????? He's not the one making the judgement???????? Why should it matter what he thinks about himself???????? (Candy, pg. 14)
Why does Dave say that the teen Jade corpse is from "seven or eight years ago" when it's actually more like 11? (Candy, pg. 20)
Why do only some people act super weird in the Candy timeline? Karkat and John still remain themselves, while Roxy becomes completely lobotomized, and others only seem mildly changed? And why is it only for a brief moment? Does it have to do with John’s emotional state at any given time? Vriska seems to imply as much on Candy pg. 38. Or perhaps Roxy is right and they didn’t actually change that much at all? I honestly have no idea what's going on with all of that.
How did AltCalliope possess Teen Jade's body?
Why is the Candy timeline free from Dirk's influence? He clearly has the ability to be present in other timelines (see: Pesterquest)
Why does the server that Meenah absconds into take her to Candy Earth C?
Why does Vrissy say she's "8asically Immortal?" Is she a god-tier? Or just extremely overconfident? (Candy, pg. 34)
(Nitpick) When did John ever get any experience with washing troll blood out of clothes? (Candy, pg. 36)
Why do John's retcon powers stop working in the Candy timeline? He's unburdened by Canon, no?
What did Vriska say to Terezi on Candy pg. 37?
Did Dirk set up the White House transportalizer and Obama hologram? When? Why? How did he know Dave would find it? If it is actually Obama, why does he act so strange? His words and actions are completely in line with the goals of Dirk. If it is actually Dirk puppeting it, how is he doing so? How is he channeling the actual power of Hope while he is a hero of Heart?
Why does Dave see a great dark cloud as he's ascending? And why does he see Dirk for a moment? (Candy, pg. 39)
Can Davebot or Rosebot die normal deaths? Or does the Heroic/Just immortality of their God forms continue even after their biological death?
Why does Davebot ask AltCalliope "DAVEBOT: so we doin this" When did they plan together? (Meat postscript)
What does it really mean to ascend, to become your Ultimate self?
Why does Dirk say that Rose belongs to him after she ascends? (Meat, pg. 25)
Why can AltCalliope overpower Dirk narratively?
How does Dirk "close his mind to all observation" (Meat, pg. 29)?Does closing it to observation also mean closing it to influence?
"You may be able to suppress what I do with my mind, but you have no control over my mouth." (Meat, pg. 32) Why? Can narrators not control dialogue in general, or is Dirk a special case?
(Possible Continuity Error) How is there shaving cream in the wallet when CD used it all to explode Jade back in A5A2? Also why is the wallet even there? Didn't John lose it? He says as much during his retconning back in A6, right?
Why does Terezi only notice Dirk's narration after she goes to Earth C? He was narrating when she was near the Black Hole w/ John as well.
Is Terezi's awareness of the narration due to her status as a Hero of Mind, or because she was in Canon for so long? Or perhaps a secret third thing?
Why does Calliope start scribbling things about the Candy timeline on the walls? (Meat, pg. 36)
How could Meat John possibly be resuscitated? He didn’t just die, he was erased.
Why doesn't Vriska have a gash on her head + a piece of space lodged in her chest? And where'd she get that eyepatch? (BC, pg. 66)
Why is Jane so pissed about Gamzee on BC pg. 90 when she messily broke up with him literally a few hours ago?
What on earth is the ending of A Treatise on Representational Democracy, pg. 13 saying?
"DIRK: You came to this planet. You saw it in your mind's eye and chose to come here.
More or less." (BC, pg. 130) ???????? What the fuck is Dirk talking about?
Why does Rose's body need to be kept alive to transfer her consciousness to Rosebot, while Dave's body does not need to be alive to transfer his consciousness to Davebot?
Is that the fucking Ring of Life on Hysterical Broad's hand?????? (Catnapped, pg. 24)
Who is narrating in black on BC pg. 144? It's clearly not Dirk, and it's also clearly not AltCalliope. Is it Hussie somehow? Is it MSPAR? Is it The Director? Does there have to be an in-story narrator in order for narration to exist?
Why is Dirk afraid of Yiffy? (A Threat Sensed)
Why does Vrissy suddenly fall asleep on BC pg. 261?
Why are Davebot's shades red on BC pg. 278 when it's explicitly stated that he took his shades off of his own corpse in the epilogues?
When/How did Aradia ascend?
Why isn't Vriska mentioned much in the history books? Are they somehow from the pre-retcon timeline or something? (pg. 328)
Why/How can Dirk and Aradia be ascended without their bodies giving out?
Why isn't Rosebot aware of the narration?
Why did John deciding not to go fight LE put Candy Earth C inside the Black Hole?
How did AltCalliope, Davebot, and Aradia get their ship? It didn't come with them through the wormhole.
Why is the "THANKS FOR PLAYING" in the sky fading? (BC pg. 496)
What the hell happened between BC pgs. 523 and 526?
What sticker is Harry Anderson referring to on BC pg. 546?
Why do Vrissy's mind control powers work on humans?
What's going on on BC pg. 553?
Where are the new dream bubbles coming from? (BC pg. 589)
Do Dirk's Bullshit Powers have limits? Or is he just straight up omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent.
Why is the first bit of narration on BC pg. 611 in black instead of orange? Same for 612.
Who are the "friends in high places" that AltCalliope refers to on BC pg. 658?
Are the commands in HSBC coming from Dirk? BC pg. 714 would seem to indicate so, but Dirk doesn't have access to the candy timeline.
WTF is this PM-looking robot at ~1:38 on BC pg. 716
What the FUCK is going on on BC pg. 719??? Who's that girl?
How does Candy John know that Dirk is the enemy? (BC pg. 742)
Is (normal, not alt) Calliope a narrator? (BC pg. 758)
What exactly is happening on BC pg. 767? Is Vriska destroying the letters (if so, why?) or just taking them? (also if so, why?)
How the hell are Jane and Jake on the ship w/ The Meat Gang? Did Vriska just yoink them from Midnight city and put them there? If so, why doesn't Karkat react more strongly to their presence? He acts like it's no big deal. Were they "already there," so to speak? How? Why did Vriska put them there?
What does it mean to be cursed? (BC pg. 802)
How did Hussie learn everything and gain all knowledge of what will happen? Clearly this isn’t something inherent to narrators.
8ut you already knew that, right?
@crystalflare
Regarding Lil Seb gesturing no, yuei2 on Reddit has thoughts on that at the end of the linked comment chain:
https://www.reddit.com/r/homestuck/comments/1amtrde/what_actually_happened_to_arquiusprite/kpptgpq/
John is literally just guessing and happens to be correct. As far as I can tell I can't find evidence that Terezi sent John a photo like finesilvercloud.
It's on the Google LoWaS page if you scroll around enough (page 3585)
Spades Slick is a butch lesbian 2k25
I tried look around on that page but couldn't find anything sorry, wish I could edit replies
Vriskafic8ion comes for us all ::::)
i need to fix the answer to one of the questions.
Why does Snowman have blue blood, while the other Dersites have red? (pg. 4110)
Its due to her being representative of both an 8ball and the A2 universe. Blue blood and fluid has a strong connection to magic 8 balls.
Vriskafic8ion comes for us all ::::)
re:crystalflare
"Why does Hussie need the characters to go through the yellow yard?
To get to the alpha session?"
Not what I mean. They would have gotten to the alpha session regardless of whether or not Hussie placed the yard between the two fourth walls. All the yard does is make it take 3 years. That's what I don't understand. Like obviously it's important for their narrative arcs for the characters to go through that time, but AH =/= Andrew Hussie. Andrew Hussie, the real world author of Homestuck, put that yard there to make the narrative more satisfying and complete, but AH, the Homestuck character, is repeatedly shown to not give a flying fuck about character arcs.
Essentially what I'm getting at is that AH is a parody of Andrew Hussie, and does not share the same goals and motivations as the real guy. While it makes sense for the real Andrew Hussie to make those characters go through those 3 years for character development purposes, it does not make sense for AH to do that.
"Why did A1 Damara go all crazy?
Constant bullying and horrible treatment by all her other players. Meenah especially was ruthless but Rufioh cheating on her among other things definitely didn't help."
This is refuted by Aranea in Openbound; she implies some sort of communication between Damara and Lord English, but Lord English explicitly does not exist in Universe A1, so I'm not sure how that would be possible.
"ARANEA: So radical was her shift in personality, I've had a hard time 8elieving your incitement was solely to 8lame. It always seemed like other forces were in play, as if her acts, though apparently haphazard, were in keeping with some inscruta8le agenda. Of course it doesn't help that it's so hard to understand her even on a good day."
"How can Vriska control Hussie? Her powers don't work on humans, right? And Hussie is human, as he describes humans with "we" (pg. 6080)
She easily just be adding her own narration, being narrator in homestuck is not a special power certain characters have, it is mostly based on awareness of the plot."
She's explicitly not doing that. The presence of the pulsating scorpio symbols are used only when Vriska is mind-controlling someone else's words. (see: the end of pg. 4840, as well as many other places)
"Where are the commands coming from in the Epilogues?
Dirk"
Again I should have clarified the question. What I'm asking is where the commands come from in the Candy Epilogues, namely in the scene where Dirk kills himself. I think it's safe to assume that's not Dirk giving the commands, if for no other reason than why would he command himself like that.
""When you think so little of yourself as a moral character, any act of self-termination will result in a death that is Just." ???????? He's not the one making the judgement???????? Why should it matter what he thinks about himself???????? (Candy, pg. 14)
This is evidence that what you think of yourself does influence how the god tier clock strikes lol, also he had already begun building Rosebot he has done plenty of evil stuff by this point."
I don't think this can be true if for no other reason than simply because there is NO WAY that Vriska would consider her own death Just. (Though that is a bit of a special case due to Spades Slick's fuckery w/ the clock so that's not an airtight argument.)
"What did Vriska say to Terezi on Candy pg. 37?
It literally says it at the end of the page "Hey Terezi. This isn’t John. It’s Vriska.""
You know damn well that's not what I mean lol. The question is what came after that.
"Is that the fucking Ring of Life on Hysterical Broad's hand?????? (Catnapped, pg. 24)
Jasprose literally says "I hope you two lovely ladies are enjoying your honeymoon. Don't overindulge!". Those are just normal wedding rings."
Yeah this one was a troll q.
8ut you already knew that, right?
re:crystalflare
"Shouldn't Jade still be able to teleport things with her space powers, even if she can't with her Bec powers? (pg. 4304)
We don't know if she can use her space powers to teleport, the fact that she can't should be evidence enough that her space powers alone don't let her teleport."
nope.
"Karkat tries to tear Dave’s phone out of his hand, but Dave simply levitates several inches off the ground to hold it just out of jumping distance. Jade, pouting a bit, glides in between them and uses her Space powers to teleport Dave’s phone out from the center of his traumatized palm and into the pocket of her sweater." (Candy, pg. 9)
8ut you already knew that, right?
I completely fucked up the page for Google LoWaS; using the homestuck page counts instead of the all-mspa ones it's page 1685. Clicking on the (A) point brings up a dialogue bubble from terezi that includes "<-4LSO H1 TH1S 1S M3", making it clear her face is diagetic
Lord English explicitly does not exist in Universe A1, so I'm not sure how that would be possible.
I think that's misinterpreting it a bit; while Lord English cannot enter A1, he does have effects on it. the session glitch that means the A1 trolls weren't ectobiologized in their session and forced them to scratch is described by Doc Scratch and (I think) Aranea as being his calling card. Leaving aside that describing Lord English as not existing at any point in Homestuck is a fool's errand, he definitely exerted influence on the A1/Beforus session
I don't want to be rude, but a lot of questions in this are things that are explicitly explained in canon or things that could be worked out with a little thought, or even things that fall under the MST3K mantra (If you're wondering how he eats or breathes, or other science facts/Then repeat to yourself 'It's just a show,
I should really just relax) or, in more MSPA-appropriate terms:
Spades Slick is a butch lesbian 2k25
re:libararyseraph
"I don't want to be rude, but a lot of questions in this are things that are explicitly explained in canon or things that could be worked out with a little thought, or even things that fall under the MST3K mantra (If you're wondering how he eats or breathes, or other science facts/Then repeat to yourself 'It's just a show,
I should really just relax"
I know ^^
I had answers for almost all of these in my head but a lot of them were left up to interpretation to at least some degree; putting them all here is in part an exercise in seeing what other people have to think about things that aren't left completely clear cut, to see what other interpretations are out there (and making sure I didn't miss anything :3)
8ut you already knew that, right?
RE: the yellow yard
i think the reason AH made it three years is because the meteor journey would take three years, and he needed all the characters to arrive at the same time. he’s basically just making sure the characters‘ continuity lines up
RE: "What did Vriska say to Terezi on Candy pg. 37?
It literally says it at the end of the page "Hey Terezi. This isn’t John. It’s Vriska.""
You know damn well that's not what I mean lol. The question is what came after that.
in [S] 8r8k we can see vriska hold the phone with the pesterlog open, that was literally all she said. presumably she was waiting for terezi to respond
RE: I don't think this can be true if for no other reason than simply because there is NO WAY that Vriska would consider her own death Just. (Though that is a bit of a special case due to Spades Slick's fuckery w/ the clock so that's not an airtight argument.)
the whole point of vriska’s death is that it’s deliberately unclear. the way the whole clock thing works is never fully explained, on purpose: we don’t know if the clock is actually the mechanism by which godtiers get revived or if it‘s just the mechanism of indicating the judgement, and the judgement happens independently of it. the reason for this is because homestuck first seemingly introduces an objective way of determining someone’s moral character, and then fucks with it, because (and especially when it comes to vriska) homestuck is more interested in asking questions about moral character than directly and unambiguously answering them.
