No, NO!!!!!!! You can't believe this. Ugh. This sucks, everything sucks right now!!!! You come to this beach to relax and try to temper your significant ANGER ISSUES. Living with a roommate who is a literal CLOWN and working as a BLACKJACK DEALER in a NANTUCKET CASINO where you have to deal with SNOBBY RICH IDIOTS all day is very taxing. It's enough to drive anyone up the wall, let alone a GRUMPY YOUNG ADULT with a SORDID PAST.
This bad news makes you want to chuck your phone into the sea like a businessman at the end of a hallmark movie who just realized his stereotypical nuclear family unit means more to him than his incredibly lucrative yet soul crushing office job. You don't have the kind of money to just go about buying new phones and you're very ADDICTED TO SOCIAL MEDIA so you just heave a clump of wet sand into the surf instead.
The wet plop makes you feel a little better.
As your anger dissipates the overwhelming dread of the life you've lived sits heavy on your shoulders. You flop down onto the sand, getting the coarse ground stone bits all in your hair and clothes as you let a frustrated yell up to the skies.
You need to do something different, change something. You want to break out of your routine of work, home, beam social media into your face until you fall asleep, and wake up for work again. You wish you had the willpower to go truly crazy like your old friends probably think you are. Lying here, desperately yearning for something new, you instead resort to something old. For the first time since your childhood, before you were disillusioned, you start praying.
Not to jesus or anything, you are almost certain you've burned that bridge a long time ago. You mentally cry out to any god or being out there, somewhere beyond your monotonous reality, for help. You know all the parables warn against this, or encourage caution about your wayward wishes, but you don't really care. If some demon possesses you you may as well just let them live your life at this point. The thought makes you laugh, as if they would agree to that deal. At this point, who would want to
>Be HANNAH REUBEN.
-KeCh
> Feel sudden inexplicable overwhelming sense of dread. This is clearly a component in SOME KIND OF PUZZLE and if you aren't diligent you will enter an UNWINNABLE FAIL STATE.
> Add TOOTHPICKS to INVENTORY. They'll be important later. They must be.
You have been invited to partake in the GAME OF GODS. YOU are JUNE EGBERT, taking your seat at the BLUE SIDE of the table, and we are all VERY PROUD OF YOU. Your opponents are THE LATE NAGITO KOMAEDA, FUNKO POP VRISKA SERKET, and SOME GUY IN A HAT.
https://www.fruityrumpus.com/forums/t/forum-god-game-calvinball-with-cards
>become inspired by the poppy burger to take radical social action in some immediate but not particularly effective manner
>take another bite first though
the revolution is now :o)
>HANNAH: Remove the burger facial features and put them on your own face. Absorb the power of the clown
You remove the toothpicks and use the bits of tape that stuck the paper to the picks to stick them to your face and snap a quick photo so that you have photographic proof that you really are losing your mind. You don't feel any clown powers unless clowns have the power of sheer embarrassment. You can never let anyone see this photo.
>HANNAH: Think Of Poppy. Try Not To Run over pedestrians
As you start your drive home you wonder if Poppy will be there. It's saturday, so you wonder if she'll ask you to come to her weird clown church tomorrow, You don't want to turn her down because she's so positive that any negativity directed her way feels like kicking a puppy. You swear it's the worst form of emotional manipulation you know, she's like an evil genius except that her schemes are mostly bringing happiness to children's lives. You'll find her secret plans for world domination one day. Ugh, why is this kid on the road. You try not to hit the pedestrian who has clearly no awareness of traffic. While you think of this pedestrian you impulsively avoid hitting Poppy. This is easy because she's clearly not on the road and is probably at the apartment.
>HANNAH: Add TOOTHPICKS to INVENTORY. They'll be important later. They must be.
As you pull into your driveway and bundle up the junk from your meal to throw away you add the TOOTHPICKS to your INVENTORY, which is really just a nerdy way to refer to the items you currently carry on your person. It's not some metaphysical space where you can store items for later. That wouldn't be grounded in reality and surely would break suspension of disbelief.
-KeCh
> wash the blood off your car
the revolution is now :o)