You are a very serious PISS PHILOSOPHER. One of Derse's best, as a matter of fact. One of the best piss philosophers in the entire Incipisphere if we're being honest. Okay fine you're the only one.
You are the one and only PISS PHILOSOPHER and you are currently standing in your unbelievably shitty looking office doing fuck all.
What will you do?
(MSPFA mirror for convenience's sake: https://mspfa.com/?s=65170&p=1, preferably comment suggestions in this thread though)
> ponder on frog piss
> Is there a Consort guy near you?
(the consort guy in question)
go read it https://fruityrumpus.com/forums/t/consortmysteryquest
> Quickly retrieve arms from some offscreen container.
> Suddenly realise you are very thirsty.
> play 5-card pickup
yes sir the earth is literally under seige by planet fucking jupiter
I logged into Damara's account just to comment on this. So peak. - Dirk
> PISS PHILOSOPHER: Do a slightly homoerotic dance.
> Piss Philosopher: Rename to Excrement Examiner
>PP: Retrieve arms from piss philosophy textbooks
>PP: Retrieve arms from piss chest
THIS IS NOT A SIGNATURE
> PP: Quickly retrieve arms from some offscreen container.
Wow. You've never heard that one.
No, seriously, this is your first time hearing this sort of phrase and you are genuinely very confused by it.
PP: Retrieve arms from-
Seriously, though, THEY ARE RIGHT HERE.
> PP: Ponder frog piss.
That would be a really dumb reason to get arrested and you do not wish to die in prison for it.
(panel faintly visible in the background from: https://mspfa.com/?s=64218&p=1)(which you should read)
> PP: Rename to Excrement Examiner.
This thought is extremely frivolous. Mostly because this name very obviously does not remotely fit your initials.
> PP: Is there a consort guy near you?
You haven't the slightest clue what that means.
> PP: Play 5-card pickup.
You pick up the NINE OF CLUBS.
> Next.
You pick up the NINE OF CLUBS.
> Next.
You pick up the NINE OF CLUBS.
> Next.
You pick up the NINE OF CLUBS.
> Next.
This is incredibly stupid.
> PP: Ponder on your own pissing skills.
Honestly you're a pretty average pisser, sadly.
> PP: Suddenly realise you are very thirsty.
You have not had anything to drink in the several hours you've been standing in your office doing fuck all. This is partly due to the fact you do not have anything to drink in here. If you want to avoid dehydrating to death you are going to have to... Go outside...
Where does water even come from, actually, do they just get it from the Battlefield? You guess we'll never know. You kind of wish you did, though, feels like knowing something like that would be useful for a guy whose job is to talk about piss.
> PP: Do a slightly homoerotic dance.
...with who exactly are you expecting to be homoerotic when you are currently completely alone in your office?
Some of those thoughts you are having today are extremely silly. You think you should try doing something at least slightly productive.