Floating in a strange, infinite void is a CHESSBOARD. Upon it are 32 pieces, 16 white and 16 black, arranged in standard formation. No moves have been made.
This is not a normal game of chess. There are no rules determining how a piece may move, nor what one may be capable of. There are only two rules to follow here.
1) Sides take turns in alternating order.
2) The game is over when one side manages to execute the other's KING.
Other rules may be added as the game progresses.
What shall the first move on this board be?
Read Cold, Cold Flood on AO3!
Black Rook A: consider reporting witnessed crime to the kingdoms authorities
White Pawn B: No one respects the rules of chess! Be the example no matter what. Move two tiles forward
— matpat
Black Bishop A: promote to NECROMANCER
A girl stands in her bedroom on her 26th birthday. As she waits for the mail-centipede to arrive, her fingers twiddle with her long grey beard. The beard twiddles back.
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WHITE QUEEN: Research THE MAGIC OF LESBIAN ROMANCE.
GREY KNIGHT: Neigh at pawns as an attempt at friendship.
HONNNKKKKKKK mimimimimimimi HONKKKKKK mimimimimi....... huh?.. whats going on........ HONNNKJKKNKNKNKKKKKK mimimimimimimi HONKNKKKNKNNKKNKKKK mimimimimimi...........
Black Pawn B: Deploy your parachute after recovering from your confusion
— matpat
I meant Black Pawn A oops. Black Pawn A deploy parachute
— matpat
Bumping this so you dont leave us hanging
> All white tiles: Disappear mysteriously
BLACK BISHOP A: Transmute BLACK KING into BLACK QUEEN immediately.
The BLACK BISHOP A prepares the spell. Transformational essence wafts from its form.
A BEAM of magic encompasses the BLACK KING's form.
The BLACK KING has become the BLACK QUEEN A. The original BLACK QUEEN becomes the BLACK QUEEN B. The BLACK QUEEN A paints some stripes on itself to symbolize the transformation, as well as to differentiate the two.
The WHITE QUEEN looks up from its book and sees twice as many BLACK QUEENs as before. It nearly passes out.
A BLACK ADJUDICATOR appears, and immediately places the MOVE QUEUE on hold. It explains that the BLACK SIDE now has NO KING. The only rule of the game is that when one side EXECUTES the other side's KING, that side wins. If BLACK has no KING to EXECUTE, BLACK cannot lose, and is considered to be CHEATING.
The BLACK ADJUDICATOR decrees that only moves conducive to electing a new BLACK KING into power will be accepted until a new BLACK KING is on the throne. It abolishes the rule about TURN ORDER until then, as well.
Read Cold, Cold Flood on AO3!
Black Pawn H: Launch crazed bid for power.
A girl stands in her bedroom on her 26th birthday. As she waits for the mail-centipede to arrive, her fingers twiddle with her long grey beard. The beard twiddles back.
"TEAM MADRIGOG" on Ao3 and FFN
this topic is so aaaaaaaawesome!!!!!!!! xDDDDD
black rook b: make your claim to the throne on a campaign of total white annihilation while secretly planning to use your sides resources to rescue the grey knight so that you can make him your queen!!
THIS IS NOT A SIGNATURE
black PAWN b*** sry
THIS IS NOT A SIGNATURE
> White Pawn: Paint front half black and run for kingmanship through rap battle!
> White Pawn A: Release immense anger by killing all nearby neutral or clown-related pieces
White Knight B: Volunteer to become the next Black King.
BLACK PAWN H: Launch crazed bid for power
The BLACK PAWN H isn't the first to want a taste of that royal power, but it is the first to try to get one. It throws its hat into the ring, already cackling as it imagines how the BLACK SIDE's territory will transform under its rule.
BLACK PAWN B: Begin campaign
The BLACK PAWN B, realizing that the BLACK SIDE's resources could be leveraged to rescue the GREY KNIGHT, steps up as well.
ANY WHITE PAWN: disguise self as BLACK PAWN and begin a campaign.
The WHITE PAWN E asks if it can requisition some PAINT to disguise itself as a BLACK PAWN. The WHITE QUEEN pretends not to hear it.
The question prompts the WHITE KNIGHT B to realize something. It asks the BLACK ADJUDICATOR, (who is of course the arbiter of all rules on the BLACK SIDE,) if there's any rule against a WHITE KNIGHT becoming the BLACK KING. The BLACK ADJUDICATOR, (hallowed be its name,) says sure, why not. The WHITE KNIGHT is now in the running.
WHITE PAWN A: Release anger by killing all neutral/clown related pieces.
The WHITE PAWN A, still salty about the salting of its arable earth, has already sworn vengeance on the GREY JESTER. Unfortunately the GREY JESTER disappeared, and the only NEUTRAL piece around is the BLACK ADJUDICATOR.
Actually, is the BLACK ADJUDICATOR NEUTRAL or an agent of the BLACK SIDE? The pawn isn't quite sure.
But anyway, if it really wants to take down the BLACK ADJUDICATOR the task will not be a walk in the park. ADJUDICATORS are given a bunch of buffs because they aren't meant to be killed or captured in usual play.
Read Cold, Cold Flood on AO3!
> White Pawn A: Grow a CLEANSING ALOE on the desert tile to remove Black Adjudicator's buffs and a CACTUS BAT for use as a weapon.
BLACK QUEEN B: Discover your complex gender identity which allows you to be a black king and black queen simultaneously.
BLACK ROOK B: Squawk like an imbecile and... uh... dig another hole in the BOARD.
https://kurosurintomasu.nekoweb.org/
![[TOMASU]](/_next/image?url=%2Fapi%2Favatars%2Ffile%2Favatar-kurosurintomasu.png&w=640&q=75)
White Bishop A: Divert royal funds to support whichever candidate will cause the most chaos.
A girl stands in her bedroom on her 26th birthday. As she waits for the mail-centipede to arrive, her fingers twiddle with her long grey beard. The beard twiddles back.
"TEAM MADRIGOG" on Ao3 and FFN