I have decided to see if one can make a satisfying and entertaining enough forum adventure just by posting text. Á la those old text adventure games, hopefully youse can have fun!
| * * * |
A young woman stands in her bedroom. There is nothing really interesting about today, and she was already named long ago.
Yet, she invites you to try and name her!
What's her name?
everything u do is a balloon :)
> Balatro Balatress
her parents are just obsessed with The BALATRO VIDEOGAME and named her that, kinda cruel TᴖT
>Josie Jotherson
her parents weren't very creative
Please foward all messages to your mothers house
Your name is Balatro Balatress, and as previously stated, there's nothing really interesting going on.
You have a variety of interests, they include WEARING FRILLY DRESSES and PRETENDING YOU'RE ROYALTY. You also have gained EXPERTISE IN COOKING, yet still managed to burned your last attempt at toast, leaving your kitchen ruined to this day. You also have a slight interest in MUSIC, and DEEPLY DESPISE CARD GAMES.
Today is shaping to be boring, what will you do to spice things up?
everything u do is a balloon :)
> Play an ill-advised game of 52 pickup.
You say you'd still rather wear the outfit. He's got nothing to say about that.
You take a deck of cards you planned to use as emergency firestarting and threw it on the ground. Cards flew everywhere, and now your bedroom floor is covered in cards.
You are satisfied with this predicament. For sure.
everything u do is a balloon :)
> Find the joker card. Look in horror as you realise you are playing a sacrilegious game of 54 pick-up.
Oh.
Oh.
This kind of sacrilege warrants pestering a friend to beg for forgiveness.
Unfortunately, your computer seems to have misteriously vanished when you weren't looking.
everything u do is a balloon :)
> Confounding. Impromptu search party of one must be sent out. While on the hunt, recall if this happens often.
You say you'd still rather wear the outfit. He's got nothing to say about that.
You begin looking under your bed and inside your closet but all you find are cards and more cards. Piles of spades to be more specific, which would be a statistical anomaly if it wasn't by the fact you didn't give a flying dolphin about it.
This is the first time this ever happened to you, but your good friend rabicDamoiseau has reported sketchy activity relating to computers misteriously vanishing only a few days before. Which could mean nothing.
everything u do is a balloon :)
> Balatro: collect all spade cards in case they are relevant to further investigation.
You captchalogue a singular card: an ace of spades.
You're lucky that this card is your first addition to your deck yet, otherwise, due to your 'pile' fetch modus, you'd have to rely on luck if you ever wanted to pull out an item and if you were to fill out all five of your card slots, it would all fall down and it'd be like playing 52-pick up with your sylladex.
This felt like an oddly artificial observation.
everything u do is a balloon :)
You should fill three of the slots with other cards. Keep yourself on your toes.
... Or, y'know, leave your room to continue a search. Whatever feels more productive in the moment.
You say you'd still rather wear the outfit. He's got nothing to say about that.
You stuff the three spots of your sylladex with three other aces of cards. This is totally viable in a real deck of cards. You leave your room and lo and behold! Your computer is tucked, right under the Yamaha DX777 synth your mom gave you for your 13th birthday three years ago. She is noticeably absent from your house and will only return tomorrow. Much to your dismay, three separate people are pestering you: - rabicDamoiseau, whose status is set to PALSY. - cachexicAbactor, whose status is set to PEPPY. - callowCamelot, whose status is set to BULLY. AND - cabbalineDealate, whose status is glitched. Which of these are you replying to first?
everything u do is a balloon :)
Ignore them and keep playing cards
Please foward all messages to your mothers house
You decide to play a game of 1-pick up.
This is stupid.
everything u do is a balloon :)
You take a bite off the card you just dropped, then captchalogue it.
This is even stupider.
everything u do is a balloon :)
Let's chat with CC, see what's got them so... bully.
You say you'd still rather wear the outfit. He's got nothing to say about that.
-- callowCamelot began pestering acarpousRecusant --
CC: HEY
CC: CAN YA FUCKIN REPLY TO ME
CC: THIS IS URGENT
CC: I KNOW YOU HAVE PESTERCHUM OPEN RIGHT NOW
AR: Jeez.
AR: What's the matter?
CC: WELL
CC: SO ME AND CA WERE GOING TO PLAY A RPG
CC: a normal one, btw
CC: NONE OF THAT FUCKIN VIDEOGAME SHIT
CC: BUT BUT BUT
CC: SHE CANCELLED ON ME OVER A VIDEOGAME
CC: she says i should play it too
CC: BUT THIS RPG IS LITERALLY LIKE, LIFE OR DEATH SHIT
CC: EVEN *YOU* SHOULD PLAY IT
AR: Well.
AR: It is a *tabletop* roleplaying game and I'm pretty sure I won't do an one day hitchhike across the country over it so I guess we're all going to die! 。・ω・。
CC: YOU CAN PLAY TABLETOPS OVER THE INTERNET
AR: I know!
AR: I'm just... not interested.
AR: This kind of thing isn't really my type of fun, sorry.
CC: HAVE FUN DYING BITCH
AR: Is this a threat? (╹ڡ╹ )
CC: ITS A FOREWARNING
CC: ILL BE ONLINE FOR LONGER IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND BUT FOR NOW FUCK YOU SEE YOU IN HELL BITCH I HATE YOU & ALWAYS DID
AR: Bye! XD
-- callowCamelot stopped pestering acarpousRecusant --
Welp.
What will you do?
everything u do is a balloon :)