HEADSCRATCH QUEST

exciting........

> We return to our regulary scheduled programming in ...

Hey, who's this nerd, am I right?

> Next.

We find ourselves in the COZY OFFICE SPACE of a DATA ANALYST.

She is one of PHTISIS CORP's many valued employees (valued in comparison to things like dirt or venereal diseases, but valued nonetheless.)

If you were to ask her what the hell she wants, she would probably answer "Well, I really need to get to the Irradiation Test Chamber Facility, but I came here for some paperwork, first."

WHAT WILL SHE DO NEXT?

Commands resumed.

Have fun!!

>steal time from the company by goofing off on the computer

>Hey now, wait a minute, we can’t forget to NAME HER! Imagine that, forgetting to name a character. that could never happen. Anyways, name her NERD MCSCIENCEFACE.

pics broken! D:

oh nevermind. it was on my end...

>_>;;;

> open briefcase

> give her the name CAROLINE BELL

> We had the creature, now we have THE ANALYST

>Hey now, wait a minute, we can’t forget to NAME HER! Imagine that, forgetting to name a character. that could never happen. Anyways, name her NERD MCSCIENCEFACE.

I hope this graph serves to illustrate just how few LABORIOUS SHENANIGANS this woman is willing to put up with.

> give her the name CAROLINE BELL

I mean, it's alright, but.. Did you.. did you check the graph, or..?

> We had the creature, now we have THE ANALYST.

She likes the sound of just THE ANALYST, she thinks. Simple, descriptive, to the point. The "THE" really adds a lot of pazzazz, she adds.

She has been CHRISTENED as THE ANALYST.

You hope not everyone you meet is like this.

>ANALYZE the contents of your briefcase

>steal time from the company by goofing off on the computer

Boss makes a dollar, she makes a dime, so she fucks around with the computer on company time.

It's usually just making graphs.

She boots up the computer. The comforting gaze of BLERGH, PHTISIS CORP's very own mascot greets her upon arriving at her desktop.

How weird, it seems CREATURECHAT has a notification.

> ANALYST: Place that... oddly titled folder in a place not on your desktop, and open CREATURECHAT.

> open the greatest game of all time, Rollercoaster Tycoon

>Oh cool! You have a ping on creaturechat! Anyways, play rollercoaster tycoon.

Look at softcore pornography.

> open the greatest game of all time, Rollercoaster Tycoon

Not while he's watching...

> ANALYST: Place that... oddly titled folder in a place not on your desktop, and open CREATURECHAT.

No, look. To no one's surprise, this folder also contains graphs. So WHAT if it WAS actual softcore pornography, you PHILISTINE? CAN A WOMAN OF SCIENCE NOT INDULGE IN PLEASURES OF THE FLESH?

There is only one thing greater. Statistics.

She opens up Creaturechat and scrolls all the way through the Creature Repertoire to find the notification.

It seems CR118 (we know him!) is having some sort of trouble with the TEST.

Usually she'd be able to chat with the creatures directly for assistance, but it seems something's gone wrong with the creature's signal.

She'd better get to the IRRADIATION TEST CHAMBER, pronto.

That's how we get to keep our CREATURE safe. That's what this whole thing was about, remember?

<Sorry for the delay on the updates. And a big sorry to Siofra Sabhait of Eggs & Biscuit fame for jacking their banner, but I just thought it was a really really goddamn funny thing to do.>

Never jack a man's banner.

> Analyst: Get to the irradiation chamber already.

> ANALYST: Take your briefcase with you! You never know when you might need [briefcase contents] to keep the CREATURE safe!