You are the building's SCATTY TYPIST, and boy are you hungry. You've been in the office for all of five minutes and you've worked up a wicked appetite. You reckon it's about time for your break.
What will you do?
> BD: Look through the other two rectangular holes in the walls.
-Sincerely, Sharkalien
> BD: Tell ST to back away, stick dynamite into hole as much as possible, and light!
... and, er, find cover.
It's a snug fit but it just might work! You tell ST to back off.
>BD: Be ST.
You are now Sullen Temptress again. Buxom Dipso just said something, but you didn't quite catch it. It looks like she's pushing something through the hole.
Holy shit!!!
Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!!!
Oh wait.
Dipso didn't have anything to light the dynamite with, so its not live.
> BD: Look through the other two rectangular holes in the walls.
You checked this one out earlier, but it won't hurt to have another look.
There's some kind of conference room on the other side. It looks like its occupants were playing some kind of TABLETOP PEN AND PAPER GAME.
Unfortunately this hole is a little too tall to climb through.
You try climbing through the other one, but your outrageous mammaries get in the way, as usual.
> ST: Use the drill to embiggen the chalice hole, then stick the dirk through.
> BD: Slice up the wieners and reattempt insertion.
-Sincerely, Sharkalien
> ST: Use the drill to embiggen the chalice hole, then stick the dirk through.
You're lacking the required DRILL BIT to perform that action. Even if you did, any hole big enough to push the dirk through would be big enough to push the wieners through.
You put the chalice in your inventory for now, along with the dynamite.
> Open the western door
It's locked. Good thing too, something about this door gives you the creeps...
You try the southern door too, for the heck of it.
You have entered the belfry.
> rip out SOUL and throw it in BIRD CAGE
Until next time....
> Pull the rope without looking
> Ascend the stairs
> wear chalice as a hat and see if there's anything behind the podium
> ST: Drop an aspirin down the chalice hole to assuage BD's hangover.
-Sincerely, Sharkalien
> ST+BD: Do a little switcharoo, trade boob pills for boob candy.
> Check Belfry for bats.
You say you'd still rather wear the outfit. He's got nothing to say about that.
> ST: Pull the rope without looking
You have a bad feeling about this!
> ST: wear chalice as a hat
You resignedly place the bucket in your inventory, and put the chalice on your head.
> ST: Drop an aspirin down the chalice hole to assuage BD's hangover.
You feel like you're gonna need these way more than she will but whatever, que sera, sera, right?
The aspirin quells Buxom Dipso's hangover somewhat.
... She'd still like a drink, though.
ST+BD: Do a little switcharoo, trade boob pills for boob candy.
You don't have any boob candy.
> ST: rip out SOUL and throw it in BIRD CAGE
You have no idea how you'd accomplish that, short of plunging the dirk into your chest and ripping your heart out. You're pretty sure that would kill you, romantic albeit.
> ST: Ascend.
> Check Belfry for bats.
You've yet to find any bats, but there seems to be a crow up here.
> As Frank Black once sang, RING THE BELL
Until next time....
> ST: Use the cage on the crow.
-Sincerely, Sharkalien
> As Frank Black once sang, RING THE BELL
You're pretty sure you already tried that, but sure.
And lo! at the knell of the requiem bell,
A stirring aloft in the rafters fell—
A loathsome shade, from the depths exiled,
With hunger for sinew, and thirst so wild.
When its eye on a maiden’s bosom dwells,
So gore will spew with mirthful yells!
> ST: Use the cage on the crow.
What crow, numbnuts?
> Walk back down the holy shit what the fuck is that thing on the stairs.
Whelp, nothing else of interest here- OH GOD.
Oh no! You're slipping on that bloodstain on the floor. If only you inspected it, maybe you could have avoided this...
The chalice goes sailing off the ledge.
> ST: Equip the knife and show that monster who is the real monster
> ST: Equip the knife and show that monster who is the real monster
You flash your dirk at the grotesque homunculus.
You deal the pitiful thing a deft blow.
You seem to have only made it angrier.
> ST: Be someone else.
You are now Buxom Dipso again. You have reached the conference room. You simply existed the closet via the door. That was always an option, it wasn't locked or anything.
You decide to take a better look at this little gaming setup. There's some miniatures, dice, what appear to be rounds or tokens, a scenario book... Oh, here's a blank character sheet.
Things like this really get your IMAGINATION going. Maybe you should fill it out?
You should probably focus on NAME, RACE, CLASS and WEAPONS to begin with.
> BT: Name character Boundless Thaumaturge, an Elven Warlock fitted with a casting staff.
You say you'd still rather wear the outfit. He's got nothing to say about that.
